I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Its crazy how the truth can really set you free. I dont feel any more guilt about any of this (why did I in the first place?!) but its no longer my problem. I appreciate that.

Puppy is asleep on my lap, and life is good. :]

Trust no one. People are not all inherently good like I once thought... I am done trusting people so easily.

Again, its been a while. But, sometimes, there are things in my life that take a greater priority in my life over blogging. It happens. I'm human, so what. I do the best that I can with what I have.

As of right now, I am sitting with my new puppy in my lap, and shes drifting off into sleep. Earlier, I spent a good 15 minutes rough housing and playing with the her, and she was running around and hopping like a bunny, and I didnt stop laughing the whole time. I havent laughed that much in a long, long time, and it felt really good. Its not the same as my dog Gypsy, it really isnt. But, that doesnt mean its a bad thing, or any less fun and lovable. I still miss Gypsy. But I dont find loving Chloe hard, so I think it just takes some getting used to.

Now, its story time. In some sense. Anyways, there was a time back in September, right after recruitment, that I had a major falling out with some of my sisters. Which, in turn, everyone else in the sorority took sides and I felt like I was backstabbed by everyone I knew. I lost my shit, to put it lightly. What started as a really good day (it had been really good up until that point) turned into me walking around BG. Not knowing where I was, it was dark and at night, and I was alone. I didnt have my keys. My phone was dying. I just had my cigarettes, really. I was just walking around bawling and no one noticed me, or if they did, didnt care enough to stop. I then sat down in the courthouse parking lot where I thought no one could see me, and I cried. I dont know how long I sat there just smoking and crying, but it was a long time. Then, someone stopped. "Its late, and youre alone. Even if you dont want company, I'm going to sit here til youre okay. No one should be alone like this." And he did. He sat with me for almost 2 hours while I talked about everything (which, in hindsight, was all I really needed- an unbiased ear to just vent to) and I smoked a whole pack of cigarettes. And I felt better. He walked me home to make sure I got there okay, gave me a hug and a number, and went on his way. We kept in touch periodically, and hung out just as much, but we became friends either way. This week, we hung out twice, and the second time, he kissed me (after the tension being there for a while). And now we're dating.

I guess the whole point of that paragraph is sometimes, what you really need comes to you at your worst moment. It comes unexpectedly, and while you dont realize it at the time, its whats needed. I just wish it hadnt taken me so long to realize and recognize it. Because I should have seen it sooner. But I do now, thats what matters. And I'm happy. :]

So, heres to the end of yet another semester, a hard one at that, and all the things with it. In this semester, I've seen the birth and (imminent) end of one relationship, the start of a new (better) one, the death of a very good friend, a first job, a new puppy, and a whole lot of personal growth in myself. I've learned whats important. I continue to learn whats important. I've learned to love my life, as fucked up as it may be at times, and I am living and thriving. Its been a hard year. Its been a hard 10 years for me. Its still hard, but I'm determined to work through it. I dont have any other choice.

I know, its been almost 2 weeks since I posted.

But in the past two weeks, I've been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, I slipped a disc in my back and spent the night in the ER, and my dog died yesterday.

I dont think I've learned anything lately, except that when it rains, it really does pour.