I am starting to realize that not only am I completely and utter mess 99% of the time, but that I actually function better that way as opposed to anything else. I'm having a rough time right now, which again isnt all that uncommon, and I'm back to that place where I dont have anyone to lean on, and that I have to do this all by myself. I dont like that feeling, but we deal.

I also learned that I am not going to make any more plans. I make plans, and then they dont happen, and I feel bad. I'm not going to decide anything for the future right now. I dont even want to think about the future or who's going to be there or whats going to happen or where I'll be at because, quite frankly, it freaks me the fuck out and I just cant think about it.

I've learned that I just need to shut my fucking mouth for once, and simply smile more.



...to be continued at a time when I DONT have 8am class the next day. :]